so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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