Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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