I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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