I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
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better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
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God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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