white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Let's get the cat blown out
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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