you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
