I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
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No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
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She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?