Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back