I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
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at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
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I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.