I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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