My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
wat bout pragnant strippers??
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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