We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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