I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize