i can't believe i had my finger in that
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
