dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia