he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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