is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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