Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
