2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
