I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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