WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
