I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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