shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
