Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
