found the other keg... it's in the tree
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
