K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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