he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
