How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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