im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
