just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
