does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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