Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
