she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize