We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I am available for nakedness
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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