I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize