I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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