My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We were destined to go to rehab together
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize