in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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