Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
