"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
