After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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