i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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