He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
