Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
