she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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