I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize