So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
