it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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