one two three fourrrrnication!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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