She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
