also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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