spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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