What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
