I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
