Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
