I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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