Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
