Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
