Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
