I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
