He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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