k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
