you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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