just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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