i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
