Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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