He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
