Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
