Your tits are I can't wait for
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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