Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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